Choose Joy

Choose joy.


"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:4-7


I'm not sure what I would do if it wasn't for this verse. It's like God said, "That verse needs to be in there just for Erin Goodridge." Or perhaps God just understands the human condition better than anyone else. Take your pick. I'll go for the former, since I love being the center of attention!


Today, June 21, would mark my brother's 28th birthday. Weird to think it will go by with little pomp or circumstance or the annual Happy Birthday phonecall. It will be 3 years in August that he chose to leave this earth. And while the excruciating pain has now faded, I still miss him.


Choose joy.


I can tell you that my life is divided into two parts: My life before Evan died, and my life after Evan died. Like a jagged tear in my timeline, Evan's choice affected me forever. A life just isn't the same as it was before a tragedy. Many people can attest to that.


Maybe that's why Paul said it twice: "I say it again, rejoice!" Making sure we knew it was a choice. Because when we choose, we own our attitude. We own the outcome of our choices, whether we like it or not. Paul also says, "Let your gentleness be evident to all." A tragedy also places a person on a faith fence....falling one way or the other--into God's arms on one side, or into the clutch of bitterness and blame. Again, that is a choice. A choice that will determine your life journey the moment you make it.

Choose joy.

I could have chosen to be angry--to hate God--to disavow prayer and even the existence of God. I even thought about it during the short time after Evan's death as I scrambled to get a flight home from Alaska to the east coast, or got off the plane to meet my devastated parents. Or touched Evan's casket for the last time before it was lowered into his grave. Evil speaks to confused and anguished hearts, pretending to satisfy a great need, but in the end destroys the spirit--and many times faith--right along with it.

Choose joy.

So I fell off my fence, laying limp and lifeless in God's arms. Although it seemed hopeless and unattainable, I weakly told my God that I chose Him. I chose joy. And then I prayed. And watched. And waited. And slowly, but very surely, God began to breathe a new life in me. A life of love, of forgiveness, of understanding, of grace. God was near to me and I called to Him daily. It wasn't--and still isn't--easy, but God never set a limit on prayers and petitions (thank you!). Because I did my part and chose joy, God has guarded my heart and my mind. I have a wonderful life. A loving and patient husband, two loving parents, two loving in-laws, an amazing church, and incredible friends. After Evan died, God grew my support system way beyond my imagination. And now, I can encourage others to choose joy. I am a success story. But not because of chance, but because of choice. I have the peace of God that transcends all understanding that Paul talks about. And I am so glad I chose joy over my other options.

Choose joy. It is not an easy choice, but with it follows peace and confirmation of God's everlasting, transcendental love. So I say it again: choose joy!