Crapshoot

Well, I'm sitting in the Jury Assembly room at the Tulsa County Courthouse bored out of my mind.

Ah, jury duty.

They need to have lazyboys and comfy beds in here so I can take a nap!

*sigh*.

Choose Joy

Choose joy.


"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:4-7


I'm not sure what I would do if it wasn't for this verse. It's like God said, "That verse needs to be in there just for Erin Goodridge." Or perhaps God just understands the human condition better than anyone else. Take your pick. I'll go for the former, since I love being the center of attention!


Today, June 21, would mark my brother's 28th birthday. Weird to think it will go by with little pomp or circumstance or the annual Happy Birthday phonecall. It will be 3 years in August that he chose to leave this earth. And while the excruciating pain has now faded, I still miss him.


Choose joy.


I can tell you that my life is divided into two parts: My life before Evan died, and my life after Evan died. Like a jagged tear in my timeline, Evan's choice affected me forever. A life just isn't the same as it was before a tragedy. Many people can attest to that.


Maybe that's why Paul said it twice: "I say it again, rejoice!" Making sure we knew it was a choice. Because when we choose, we own our attitude. We own the outcome of our choices, whether we like it or not. Paul also says, "Let your gentleness be evident to all." A tragedy also places a person on a faith fence....falling one way or the other--into God's arms on one side, or into the clutch of bitterness and blame. Again, that is a choice. A choice that will determine your life journey the moment you make it.

Choose joy.

I could have chosen to be angry--to hate God--to disavow prayer and even the existence of God. I even thought about it during the short time after Evan's death as I scrambled to get a flight home from Alaska to the east coast, or got off the plane to meet my devastated parents. Or touched Evan's casket for the last time before it was lowered into his grave. Evil speaks to confused and anguished hearts, pretending to satisfy a great need, but in the end destroys the spirit--and many times faith--right along with it.

Choose joy.

So I fell off my fence, laying limp and lifeless in God's arms. Although it seemed hopeless and unattainable, I weakly told my God that I chose Him. I chose joy. And then I prayed. And watched. And waited. And slowly, but very surely, God began to breathe a new life in me. A life of love, of forgiveness, of understanding, of grace. God was near to me and I called to Him daily. It wasn't--and still isn't--easy, but God never set a limit on prayers and petitions (thank you!). Because I did my part and chose joy, God has guarded my heart and my mind. I have a wonderful life. A loving and patient husband, two loving parents, two loving in-laws, an amazing church, and incredible friends. After Evan died, God grew my support system way beyond my imagination. And now, I can encourage others to choose joy. I am a success story. But not because of chance, but because of choice. I have the peace of God that transcends all understanding that Paul talks about. And I am so glad I chose joy over my other options.

Choose joy. It is not an easy choice, but with it follows peace and confirmation of God's everlasting, transcendental love. So I say it again: choose joy!

Summertime

It's good to be home after a vacation. I always feel discombobulated without my husband for a long length of time...I suppose that's the way it's meant to be. You know, one flesh and all that jazz.

I love summer. Teachers NEED summer. I don't think I could be a teacher if I didn't get my summer....non-teachers just don't get it. And it isn't easy to explain, either. Who can explain the excitement that great teachers feel when August rolls around and we get to meet our students for the first time? And who can explain the relief of our first extended vacation in November? I dont' know....I love being a teacher, and I LOVE kids, but I suppose teachers---GOOD teachers, that is, tend to value others above themselves. It's jut necessary for the job. So when vacation rolls around, we're happy to oblige because of it's necessity in our lives because we can't do it on our own! Is anyone with me?
It's nice to sleep past 5:30am into the late hours of 8 or 9...sometimes even 10...it's nice to work on my house without the pressure of lesson plans, concerts, musicals, and deadlines. It's lovely to stay up late watching movies or fellowshipping with friends and family, knowing I can make up for lost sleep the next day. And it's just FREAKING AWESOME TO BE LAZY!!!!!!!

But, without a doubt, when August shows its face, I'll be sooo ready to go back. Because that's how good teachers feel. After a long break of me time, it's good to get back to the smiling faces of schoolchildren. But for now, I'm enjoying summer for a while.

Ahhhhhh.

Northeast Adventures

Well, it has been so wonderful to reconnect with my cousin Angela, and finally get to spend some time with her fiance and soon husband, Gary. What a sweet couple they are! I've been reminiscing about my own wedding for the past few days and I have been having so much fun helping her out with hers.

To be honest though, it's nice to be a part of the wedding but not have the stress of planning it!!! I'm sitting her watching the two of them plan and check off lists and make sure they have everything taken care of...but they are so laid back about it. :-)

So today I get to see my momma and my aunt and hang out with my cousins...treasured time. Smiles!

Surprised!

Well! I was pleasantly surprised by United! I got an exit row seat free (only ones left, praise Priceline!) on my first leg, had a hilarious flight attendant, sat next to a sweet old man on my second leg to Boston--with the center seat empty, yesssssssssss!!!! And the seats were *gasp* semi-comfortable!

Running Ragged

I am so freaking tired....I had such an amazing time with my young missionettes for the past few days and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but man--I didn't get much sleep (which is to be expected for a camping trip). I got to my house after 1pm, started laundry, sat for an hour, and started REpacking for my next trip...

Flying out at 6:30am. Which means I have to be at the airport at 5:15am-ish. And it's now what....12:42am? I could have flown in a day later, but it was $100 more for the ticket! I can't wait for the day when money isn't an issue for us, and we aren't scraping the bottom of the barrel all the time and barely living paycheck to paycheck. I know Ted's going to make it big, it's just a matter of WHEN...and I'm getting impatient!

So I'm helping my dearest cousin get married on Saturday and it's going to be a fabulous trip but again, not a trip with much sleep involved. *sigh* I suppose I'll sleep when I'm dead!

My Heart for Ministry

Today I'm driving 7 preteen girls down to Wilburton, OK to spend 2 days at Robber's Cave State Park. Will I survive? We'll see!

Actually, teaching this preteen girls class has been so amazing. Missionettes is a program for Christian girls, ages 3-18. I happen to teach girls in grades 3-6: the Stars program. It is a part of the Assemblies of God Children's ministry, and I have had the privilege of teaching the Stars for just over a year now. And it has been a mighty blessing.

Since teaching this class I have seen 3 girls come to know the Lord and 1 girl rededicate her life to God. These are the years that shape young girls' futures, and I am so blessed to be a part of it! You know, as a teacher, most people think I'm imparting information to my students, but it tends to be the other way around so often! My heart is with children's ministry and always will be, I'm sure.

So, we're headed to Robbers Cave. Hiking, swimming, learning about Jesus, and ministering to young girls' lives. I couldn't kick off my summer in a better way if I tried!

Demanding Excellence

Ah, the final day of the school year has come and gone. It has been a growing year--a wonderful year! The second year of teaching at a school is ALWAYS better! The students know me and my procedures in class, and It feels unnecessary to prove myself to my colleagues. The new leadership this year has also been EXCELLENT. How amazing it is to have teachers held ACCOUNTABLE for their teaching practices as well as their attitudes in the classroom and out. Nothing pleases me more than a leader who demands exceptional employees!

Naturally, in a growing year there are changes which some people handle well, and others do not. There has always been a problem with "griping" at my building--teachers huddled together chatting about the evils of this and that and complaining about students, parents, teachers, and leadership. It had grown TOXIC! And I was thoroughly sick of it. I won't take part in it, I don't encourage it, and I personally believe teachers should be reprimanded for it. I honestly don't care if that offends people, because it is plain and simply WRONG and UNPROFESSIONAL. You know how quickly an employee in another profession would get fired for that kind of garbage??? In a heartbeat!

In all brutal honesty, I am thrilled about next year. Several new staff members shall help make my school a better, more positive place. A more constructive place. A more PROFESSIONAL place. And kudos to leadership for making that happen. Mediocrity is not what our students need. They need exceptional teachers. Teachers who care more for their students than their own schedules, desires, and complaints. Teachers who are flexible, honest, trustworthy, sincere, uplifting, and respectful of authority whether or NOT they are pleased with decisions that authority has the right to make--and demand--of them.

So with all that said, I shall enjoy my summer, because I know next year will be fabulous!

Nonsensical!

So...what point is law if it is not supported and upheld? Charles Krauthammer, syndicated columnist and my own personal favorite political commentator on Fox News (YEAH FOX NEWS!) recently referred to the Obama Administration as "lawless". And ain't that the TRUTH!

So he snubs the Governor of Arizona--and is also chastising her for upholding...wait for it...the FEDERAL LAW, people! And is anything being done about this looney L.A. school board who will be teaching their students to ALSO break the law when it feels right? WHAT THE $(*$&T%$????????????!!!!!!!!!!

I'm getting closer and closer to homeschooling my kids. This is just insane! 962 days until this dude is out of office. I hope we can survive as a country until then....

For me and my house, we will follow the law. Plain and simple. And we will support those who uphold the law. GO ARIZONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Zombies

You know, I'm not a fan of war movies....or gory movies in general. I almost puked during "Saving Private Ryan" (couldn't finish it), and "Black Hawk Down" was nauseating. I can't stand watching people die. It upsets me--makes me nervous in general, and gives me terrible nightmares. "L.A. Confidential" upset me for nearly a week after I watched it! I'll pass on "The Patriot", "Gettysburg", and "Glory". Ew.

But oddly enough, I DIG zombie movies. I can't get ENOUGH of zombie movies. "Resident Evil" did it for me. I was hooked. Then came the other sequels of the same. Then "28 Days Later" (planning on watching the sequel to that too), "Shaun of the Dead", "Night of the Living Dead", and so on. Moaning, undead, bloodthirsty zombies feasting on unsuspecting, oblivious bystanders followed by the hellish slaughter of the offending automatons just thrills me to my very core. I squeal in freakish delight as the walking dead hobbles toward their next victim.

Why......?!?

My husband says it is because I'm able to disconnect somewhere and realize that zombies don't really exist, as opposed to war movies where it is all too real. But sometimes the gore is just as bad! I don't understand!

Anyone care to weigh in?